


Without You

by hyxnjae



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, wooyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29260764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyxnjae/pseuds/hyxnjae
Summary: Without your love, I feel empty.Without you, I'm dead.
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Jung Wooseok
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> this story is originally posted at another fanfic platforms years ago and my sis and i decided to rewrite it back. it's actually based on an old song. hope you enjoy :)

Wooseok sat alone on one of the benches located in the park. A soft smile made its way to his face when he saw his boyfriend walking towards him. Wooseok immediately brought his hand up and happily waved towards Yuto with a smile getting wider and wider each second passed.

The walking Yuto just looked at his direction blankly as if nothing had happened. He did not do anything or even respond to Wooseok's wave. Yuto then walked closer and closer before sitting on the same bench and lifelessly leaning his back against the seat without saying anything. His face looked a little gloomy, lifeless and pale.

Wooseok just looked at him sadly. It's been a few days now. Yuto did not seem to be like before anymore. He was once a very cheerful guy, the one who never missed to give the brightest smile to everyone, but now, he completely changed one hundred and eighty degrees to this completely quiet and soulless person. And Wooseok almost didn't recognize him because of that.

"Yuto-ah..." Wooseok called out softly.

Wooseok slowly tried to touch Yuto who seemed to ignore his existence but stopped his action after hearing a call from someone he knew all too well.

"What are you doing here?" Hui asked, one of his close friends who was also like a brother to him

Before Wooseok could open his mouth to answer, Hui immediately spoke again, "You are still not feeling better yet, so why come out here?" His voice sounded a little worried.

After hearing Hui's words, Wooseok looked at Yuto's figure once again. He didn't realize it before but now that he did, he noticed that Yuto was wearing a white hospital shirt along with a black sweater. His face looked a little paler than his usual healthy tan skin.

Wooseok just looked at Yuto without saying anything. Yes, he seemed to have forgotten that Yuto had been diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy since five years ago. Up to this day, he was still waiting to receive a donor for the heart transplant surgery. Wooseok sighed when he remembered all that.

After that, Hui immediately held onto Yuto to get him up and left the place, leaving Wooseok behind. They both didn't seem to care, acting like he was never there in the first place. Wooseok thought for a moment, was Yuto still angry at him for what had happened between them a few days ago?

Not knowing what to do, Wooseok just watched them go without doing anything. He actually did not know what he should do next.

"Yuto-ah..." Again, Wooseok was only able to call the name softly. His boyfriend's name, leaving his parted lips, sounding so sad and heartbroken.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Wooseok walked into Yuto's room as soon as he saw Hui coming out of the room. As soon as he entered, he saw Yuto sitting on the hospital's bed while looking out of the window of his room. His back was facing Wooseok so he didn't notice him entering the room, especially not when Wooseok was trying hard not to make any sound.

Wooseok was just standing in front of the door, quietly watching Yuto from behind, trying to think of something to say. While he was busy thinking, Wooseok heard a slow painful sob coming from the man in front of him. Yuto, who at that time was still looking outside and seemed to be crying slowly.

"Yuto-ah..." Wooseok couldn't bear to see the scene unfolded in front of him so he decided to call out the other's name.

"I could still hear you. What should I do?" Yuto said with a choked sob. Tears streamed down his cheeks endlessly. Drop by drop kept on falling down without him noticing.

"Please look at me. I beg you." Wooseok said but Yuto still insisted on ignoring him. The man in front of him kept on sobbing quietly and that alone broke his heart into pieces.

"I don't want... I don't want all this." Yuto said while patting his chest hard, clutching hard on the piece of cloth that clung to his body. Biting his lips hard to contain the sob from coming out of his mouth.

Wooseok immediately went into panic mode when Yuto was slowly getting out of control and tried to approach his boyfriend but stopped on his track when Hui entered the room and ran to get to Yuto who was trying to further hurt himself. "Yuto, stop please." Hui whispered as softly as possible, trying to calm down the crying man in a protective hug. Rubbing a circle at the small of the other's back as he too tried to keep himself focused on the matter at hand, reminding himself to be strong for the younger man.

Wooseok ended up not being able to do anything after all so he just looked at them both sadly, feeling pathetic. Seeing Yuto's condition at that time was very hurtful to him. How much longer could he be hurting himself like this? 

"Don't do this. You will hurt yourself." Hui said while blocking Yuto's hand from trying to hurt himself, away from his upper body, his chest.

"I don't want to live like this, hyung." Yuto said while looking at Hui's face sadly. The tears did not seem to stop flowing or drying up.

"Do you think hyung wants you to live like this?" Hui asked. The pain in his voice was obvious as he stared into Yuto's teary eyes.

"Why did him..."

"Hyung knows all of this is hard for you to accept, but you have to accept it no matter what whether you like it or not." Hui said calmly. His hand reached out to pat the younger on the head, caressing the soft curls with love.

Yuto just kept quiet. Hui then gently wiped the tears that continued to flow on Yuto's cheeks at that moment. He was so hurt seeing Yuto's condition at this point but he knew it too well to ask him not to cry and forget everything, to move on because it was not easy, it was never easy.

"Hyung knows Wooseok will be sad if he knows that you still couldn’t accept the decision he made." Hui said while looking out the window. He tried to be strong for Yuto but he couldn't help the tears coming from the back of his eyes, blurring his visions.

Wooseok who was still there seemed to lose his voice when he heard them. Something he failed to realize from the first time he was there was when he looked towards the window, his reflection was not visible at all. There was nothing there to prove his existence.

  
  
  


_"I'm sorry I had to tell you this bad news." The male doctor said cautiously, feeling guilty for having to tell the truth to his patient. But he was not able to do anything because all the decisions did not come from him._

_Yuto sighed a little before smiling back at the doctor. It was as if he was trying to cover up his sad feelings at that moment. "It's okay, doctor. I understand. We could never force anyone when it comes to this matter. Taking one of the organs out from the body of their family members at that. I'd probably think twice too." Yuto said slowly._

_Yuto immediately got up from the chair he was sitting on before bowing respectfully to the doctor and walking out of the room. As soon as he came out, Wooseok who was patiently waiting for him outside immediately approached him, holding his side protectively._

_"What happened there?" Wooseok asked curiously._

_Yuto just shook his head, feeling helpless after finding out that the donor who should have given him a heart had to be canceled due to strong objections from his family members._

_Wooseok was silent for a moment. He knew at this point, Yuto must have felt very sad but he also could not do anything other than be by Yuto's side whenever he needed it._

_"It's okay. We can always wait again. It's not that you couldn't stand it anymore." Wooseok tried to persuade_ _as best as he could. But Yuto just kept quiet, having no intention to reply or agree with his boyfriend._

_"If no one can give you that heart, you know you can take mine." Wooseok said casually. He sounded like he was only joking but he was actually serious._

_"Stop talking like that." Yuto said angrily while shoving hard on the tall man's shoulder. He narrowed his eyes, trying to get his point across, pouting his lips in process._

_"But joking aside... It has been yours for a long time now." Wooseok continued with a smile. His finger gently touched Yuto's cheek, his thumb caressing the smooth skin there lovingly._

_"Thank you." Yuto said slowly._

_"Why?" Wooseok asked._

_"Because you are still here with me." Yuto explained._

_Wooseok moved a little closer to Yuto without saying anything. He stared at Yuto's face with a very sweet smile. "Yuto-ah... No matter what happens. I will always be by your side. I promise." Wooseok said softly. Yuto could feel the sincerity in them that he was almost tearing up._

_I will always be by your side._

  
  
  


_…_

  
  
  


_Wooseok cupped his mouth with the palm of his hand while coughing. The water he drank a moment ago seemed to have entered his esophagus causing him to cough hard. The tissue that Yuto handed him was immediately taken and rubbed gently on his mouth._

_"Are you okay?" Yuto asked in a rather worried tone. Lately, it seemed that Wooseok had been coughing a lot and in his count, it has been more than a few weeks since he first saw this happen._

_Wooseok just nodded slowly indicating that he was okay and immediately showed his smile so that Yuto did not feel worried about it. "I just choked on something. I'm fine." Wooseok reasoned. The same thing he heard each time._

_"Everytime?" Yuto asked, feeling a little suspicious with the answer given by Wooseok._

_"You should see a doctor." Yuto added, still worried about his boyfriend as he held Wooseok's hand tightly in his._

_Wooseok laughed a little at Yuto's behavior which seemed to feel very worried at that moment. "I already went to see a doctor."_

_"And...?" Yuto asked with a serious face._

_"Nothing... just a normal cough."_

_Yuto just looked at Wooseok with an unsatisfied look. He didn't seem to buy that so Wooseok continued._

_"I've taken medicine too." Wooseok tried again._

_"Do not worry." Wooseok added as soon as he saw Yuto's unchanging expression even when he had told him the truth. Maybe not all but those could wait._

_"Why with that serious face? I just coughed, it's not like I'm dying." Wooseok tried to joke._

_"Don't joke like that." Yuto said. His tone showed that he was definitely sulking. Yuto then walked away, leaving Wooseok by himself, who was still trying hard to win Yuto's attention back to him._

_"Yuto-ah, I'm sorry."_

_"I don't want to talk to you anymore. Hyung, don't let him in." Yuto told Hui who suddenly made an appearance when he was walking out of the kitchen of the cafe where Yuto worked, which was actually Hui's cafe._

_"Ahh, why?" The older asked, feeling confused._

_"I'm just kidding..." Wooseok said while looking at Yuto who was turning his back on him. He let out a sigh when his boyfriend purposely ignored his pleas. He gripped the tissue that had just been used to wipe his mouth in his hand._

_He stared at the patches of blood that already dried up on the tissue for a moment before turning his gaze towards Hui who was staring at him intensely. He knew that look, he understood the message the older man was trying to say to him even without opening his mouth._

_Wooseok immediately shifted his gaze anywhere but him, seemingly unable to accept what Hui wanted to say to him._

_Hui was only able to sigh heavily, seeing the two men he already considered as his own brothers. He could not do anything because Wooseok himself did not want to tell the truth._

  
  
  


_…_

  
  
  


_"Can a cancer patient like me donate my heart to others?" Wooseok asked the doctor who examined him. The doctor took a deep breath before looking at him._

_"As a general rule, cancer survivors are not eligible to be living donors." The doctor said firmly._

_"However, the transplant team may review, on a case-by-case basis, and determine that the donor is cancer-free, that the needed organs have not sustained damage from prior cancer treatment, and that there is unlikely to be further organ damage where the person would need that donated organ." The doctor added._

_"As with any deceased donor, cancer history or not, each case would be reviewed at the time of death. Depending on the cancer type, remission status, and the function of the organs, some or all may be able to be used. In addition to organs, donation from a deceased donor can include parts of the eyes, skin, bone, veins, and heart valves." The doctor continued, his eyes were on Wooseok as he talked._

_Wooseok sighed softly. "So I just need to die..." Wooseok said slowly to himself, whispering the words carelessly as if he was already giving up trying to survive but the doctor who was so close to him at that time could hear every word he was saying._

_"Wooseok-shi, it's still too early to determine all this. We can still try with treatment. You still have a long life journey." The doctor said as if trying to persuade. As a doctor, your patient's life was important no matter how bad their situations were._

_Wooseok shook his head without him realizing it and continued his words. "No... I just want him to continue his life. His dream was—…"_

_Five years ago, Yuto was a great baseball player. Being a great and famous baseball player was always his dream. But after he was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy, Yuto could not continue doing what he liked and after a while, he did not seem to be wanting to continue it at all._

_"I'll go first, doctor." Wooseok said as he got up and walked out of the doctor's room. His steps were heavy and slow. Thoughts were jumbled altogether inside his head and he was having difficulty sorting them all out._

  
  
  


_…_

  
  
  


_Wooseok had not been able to count any longer, since the first day he found out that he had an illness or was easily known as cancer. The first time he found out about it, Wooseok thought his whole world had just collapsed to his feet. He felt numb and totally lost as if the world suddenly became dark. His first reaction was disbelief; it took him a while to accept the truth._

_He thought for the rest of his life he did not think he would get cancer. He thought he had taken good care of himself well, living a life that was good enough for him._

_To him, after finding out about it, his life was over. Yet he forgot that in his life there was still someone who was very important to him. Someone who was strong enough to fight the illness he had been suffering from for several years now._

_Adachi Yuto, the guy was a very important person in his life, his own boyfriend. For a moment when he thought it was all over, after seeing Yuto next to him made him feel strong enough to fight the cancer he was suffering from._

_Although he was still not strong enough to tell Yuto about it, Wooseok thought maybe one day when he was ready, he would tell Yuto about it. One day._

_Wooseok wasn't lying when he said he actually was terrified by his illness, and yet that was just what he needed. After seeing Yuto's condition worsening and requiring heart surgery so that he could continue to survive, Wooseok decided to give up trying to donate his heart to Yuto and that made him stop getting any treatment for his illness._

  
  


_…_

  
  


_The sound of his house's door password opening made Yuto tilted his head towards the door. Wooseok's tall figure appeared in front of the door and immediately put a smile on Yuto's face. "Oh, you have arrived..." Yuto said._

_"Yes... I brought a drink." Wooseok said as he brought up a box containing several cans of liquor. Yuto looked at him in confusion, raising one brow towards his boyfriend._

_"Suddenly? The last time I remember you did not like to drink." Yuto said._

_Wooseok chuckled. "I suddenly feel like drinking… that's all. Is that wrong?" Wooseok tried to reason, shrugging his shoulders as he said so._

_Yuto just silently looked at his boyfriend before approaching the taller guy. "Is it cold outside? You look pale." Yuto asked while gently touching Wooseok's face, trying to check his temperature._

_"A little." Wooseok answered slowly. The look on Yuto's face showed that he wasn't satisfied with the answer but quickly dismissed it when he saw the pout on Wooseok's face. Rolling his eyes right after that._

_They both had dinner together like usual and sat together on the couch afterwards to watch a movie._

_"I want to lie my head on your lap." Wooseok suddenly asked and with a smile Yuto agreed to his boyfriend's sweet request._

_Wooseok immediately lay down and put his head on Yuto's lap and smiled at Yuto when the other was looking down at him. "Are you sure you're okay? You still look pale though." Yuto said as he turned on the small table lamp next to him._

_"Are you not feeling well?" Yuto asked. His hand was placed on Wooseok's forehead which was still lying on his lap. Wooseok just kept quiet, making Yuto feel more worried than before._

_"Wooseok-ah." Yuto called out softly._

_Wooseok then got up and sat on the couch, leaning back next to Yuto who was looking at him worriedly. His hand slowly tried to reach for Yuto's hand which was on his lap._

_"I actually have something to tell you..." Wooseok tried to say after thinking for a while._

_Wooseok's behavior at that time made Yuto feel uncomfortable and he immediately turned his body so that they were looking at each other. "Yes?"_

_Wooseok swallowed hard for a moment. "I went to the hospital today." Wooseok said._

_"Are you sick?" Yuto gasped when he heard that._

_But Wooseok gripped Yuto's hand to get his attention back to him. "Listen first..."_

_Yuto then remained silent and looked at Wooseok with curiosity._

_"I met your doctor."_

_"For what?" Yuto immediately asked. His eyes widened even bigger if that was possible than when he first heard the word 'hospital'._

_"Listen first, I'm not finished yet." Wooseok tried again since Yuto seemed to be easily distracted by each word he was saying._

_"You took so long to say it… Just get to the point, please." Yuto said._

_"I signed a form for organ donation." Wooseok said quickly._

_"For what? Wait... oh my God, Wooseok! You're not drunk, right?" Yuto said for a moment before staring at Wooseok's face with a frown on his face._

_Wooseok just shook his head no._

_"You know some bottles like that are not my level." Wooseok sighed heavily._

_"Yuto-ah..."_

_"Stop." Yuto took a deep breath. He didn't want to know the next sentence came out from Wooseok's mouth. He didn't think he was ready to hear the rest of it._

_"Jung Wooseok... all of this is not funny, do you know that? Enough with your joke… I'm too lazy to hear any of it right now." Yuto said before getting up and walking away but was stopped when Wooseok pulled on his hand._

_"I have cancer." Wooseok said, surprisingly calm. He was even surprised himself with it._

_As soon as Yuto heard what Wooseok said, Yuto was unable to do anything other than be silent for a moment. He was speechless or rather more in disbelief. In his head, he was processing the information that Wooseok had just told him._

_"Don't—"_

_"This time it's not a joke." Wooseok quickly cut off Yuto's words. Wooseok's tone of voice came out very seriously at that time and it made Yuto feel so scared._

_"Since when... How even..." Yuto said in a trembling voice. He was stuttering and he knew that, he just couldn't help himself._

_"It's been more than a year... I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Wooseok said as his hand gripped Yuto's hand tightly as if not wanting to lose it. "I don't know how to tell you, I'm so sorry."_

_Yuto just kept quiet without saying anything. At that moment, he did not know what to say. He thought about what he was supposed to do because he still could not believe Wooseok's words. Just how could he? Everything was just too much for him to accept in one time._

_However, Wooseok's current behavior and physical condition made everything he said seem to be true. His chest felt heavy and his breathing quickened. Yuto felt as if his heart wanted to get out of his body at how fast it was racing inside._

_Wooseok noticed the change in Yuto's condition, immediately turned his full attention to his boyfriend who seemed unable to breathe properly. "Yuto-ah?"_

_"It hurts..." Yuto said while moaning in pain._

_"Breathe." Wooseok said while pushing Yuto's body back slowly._

_"Listen to me. Breathe slowly."_

  
  
  


_…_

  
  
  


_Wooseok just looked at Yuto's body lying on the hospital bed with a blank face. By that time, he had lost all his energy. He just silently looked at Yuto who was lying, looking so weak in front of him._

_Five days ago, after he told Yuto about his illness. It looked like his boyfriend couldn't accept the news very well. Yuto had a heart attack that left him bedridden for almost a week._

_"Wooseok-ah, even though I am not qualified to make a decision. Hyung wants you to make a good decision for both of you." Hui said while gently patting Wooseok's shoulder._

_"What should I do... with Yuto's condition like this?" Wooseok said slowly._

_"Should I let him go like that?" When those words left his lips, he suddenly was having flashbacks. All moments that were shared with each other flashed through his eyes like a movie._

_The tears that had been held back for a before, flowed down his cheeks. "It's all my fault, hyung. I should have just died silently." Wooseok said with so much regret in his voice._

_Hui was not able to answer Wooseok's words at that time, his heart felt so hurt hearing the man who was much younger than him was carelessly and easily talking about death._

_"Wooseok-ah." Hui called slowly but Wooseok immediately got up and walked out, leaving no chance for the older to speak._

_"I want to be alone for a while." Wooseok said, leaving Hui alone with Yuto._

  
  
  


_…_

  
  
  


_Wooseok sighed heavily. His left hand reached into his pants' pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. He laughed a little to no one but himself._

_"I deceived myself about living a healthy life. This is what I got for that." Wooseok talked to the thin air._

_Wooseok lit up one cigarette at a time in the box and threw it on the floor before stepping on it._

_"Yuto-ah, I'm sorry for failing to live the life you want for me." Wooseok said while coughing. His hand immediately cupped his mouth._

_As usual, every time he coughed, there must be blood coming out of his mouth. "This is the worst..." Wooseok said. His head felt a little dizzy because he coughed too often. And God damn it, why must his abdomen be in pain too, at the very same time too?_

_Wooseok heard footsteps approaching from behind. He was so sure that it was Hui since the voice calling his name was familiar. That couldn't be Yuto. His ears caught words of 'Yuto' and 'awake' but he couldn't focus any more. The pain he felt was too unbearable and the blood coming from his mouth was non-stop, not to mention the chest tightness that left him completely breathless._

_Wooseok lost his balance, he couldn't feel his legs. He felt sleepiness took over him as he collapsed on the ground. He didn't notice Hui running to him, screaming his name or calling out for help. He couldn't hear anything except for the buzzing in his ear. His mind couldn't think of anything else but Yuto and Yuto alone. Maybe this was the last time, the end of life for him._

_He wasn't even surprised at this moment. He was at his last stage. He was getting worse and there was no turning back._

  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  


That night, while Yuto was sound asleep, in fact, Yuto had just put his eyes to sleep after being given sleeping pills to calm him down. Wooseok walked towards Yuto who was sleeping on the bed and sitting next to his boyfriend.

Wooseok placed his hand on Yuto's chest and whispered softly. "Yuto-ah, forgive me." Wooseok said before trying to get up and go but he stopped in his tracks when he felt his hand being touched gently.

At that moment, Yuto's hand was already holding his hand that was still resting on his chest. The pale looking man who was still lying down opened his eyes and looking right at Wooseok who was so surprised when he realized Yuto could see him and touch him.

"Don't go... I beg you." Yuto whispered softly. His voice sounded sad, slow and low pitched.

"Can you... see me?" Wooseok asked hesitantly. He then saw his hand that was touched by Yuto a moment ago and until now Yuto still held his hand tightly as if he did not want to let go. He really didn't want to let go.

"I am sorry." Wooseok apologized.

"Stop talking like that… stop saying sorry. I don't want to hear it." Yuto said as his grip tightened on Wooseok's hand. He was afraid if he let go, Wooseok would disappear. He just knew it.

The two of them were silent for a while, making the atmosphere between them in the dim room became so quiet. Wooseok could still hear, though faintly, the noises in the rooms next to them; but all became quiet because the only thing mattered right now was Yuto.

"I have to go." Wooseok finally broke the silence between them, insisting on leaving.

"Please don't ..." Yuto pleaded.

"Yuto-ah..." Wooseok said while looking at his boyfriend's face. The face of the man who was still lying on the bed looked sad and it was all his fault.

"Can I go with you?" Yuto asked slowly.

"Take me with you..." He continued. His voice begging.

"No. You can't." Wooseok said slowly, shaking his head as he tried to release his hand from Yuto's tight grip.

"You said you would always be with me." Yuto immediately said. 

"You promised."

"I am… here." Wooseok said, taking a seat once again in front of Yuto while gently touching the place where his heart was replacing Yuto's. He could feel the heart beating underneath his palm.

"That's not what I meant." Yuto whispered, almost whining.

"It's the same. My heart is still beating healthily inside you. It will always be beating for you, as always." Wooseok tried to explain while gently touching the scar on Yuto's chest. There was a long ugly scar on Yuto's chest. Wooseok hated it but if it was what made Yuto stay alive, then the scar was meant to be there for the rest of his life.

"You'll be okay… even without me."

At that moment, the quiet hospital room was filled with Yuto's slow cry. The cries that slipped through his lips sounded very sad and painful. It broke Wooseok's heart.

"About that promise..." Wooseok said after a while. "It's not that I couldn't keep that... You still remember, right?"

"Didn't you tell me that you want to be the best pitcher in Korea?" Wooseok smiled when he remembered the exact scene of that day.

"But you stopped because of your health problems... and the same goes for me." 

"Yuto-ah... there is nothing I can do for my situation. But at least, I can still do something for you." The taller man slowly leaned even closer to Yuto. Taking Yuto's face in his hand, sliding down to his chin as he lifted it up.

"Your future…"

"What's the point of all that without you?" Yuto said, cutting off Wooseok's words.

He didn't like the idea of not having Wooseok in his life. He would miss Wooseok all the time. If before, he could just make a call or message but now, what would he do when he missed his tall boyfriend? He wouldn't be there when he wanted him to be. He wouldn't be there to hug him to squeeze the sadness out of him, to wipe his tears when he cried, to laugh with him when listening to something funny.

"I know... we never imagined ourselves not having each other. But, you can’t take away your own future just because you want us to be together." Wooseok tried to at least keep a smile blooming on his face, though it was hard, especially when Yuto's teary eyes were looking back at him with so much feeling.

"Even though we can no longer be together, we can still continue this promise..." He never wanted to look away. Those mesmerizing eyes, he didn't want to miss looking at it for the world as he added. "That means we truly love each other."

"I love you so much, Yuto." Wooseok said. The love was obvious in his eyes though it was wet with tears.

"And that feeling is still the same, it never changes."

"It won’t change." Yuto replied, shaking his head. "I love you... so much, Wooseok."

"I know..." His boyfriend answered.

"I'm sorry that I held you back." Yuto apologized for being selfish. For trying to keep Wooseok to himself but he couldn't help it.

"I understand. You did it because you were in pain. I will do the same, so I understand." Wooseok said. Always being so understanding and the gentleman that he was.

"Thank you, for always being with me... and thanks for giving me this." Yuto said while touching his chest where Wooseok's heart beat for him.

"I will take good care of it... I promise."

"You can go calmly now. Thank you, Jung Wooseok, for all the memories you've given me throughout this life. I will remember it forever." Yuto said with a smile that Wooseok loved so much.

Wooseok's eyes filled with tears at Yuto's words as he looked lovingly at Yuto whose eyes kept on shedding tears even with a smile on his beautiful face. It felt surreal, that this was the last time they were going to meet each other. That this moment was going to be their last.

Wooseok once brought up his hand to cup Yuto's cheek, thumb caressing the soft pearl there. Slowly, he closed the gap between them, bringing Yuto's body so close to him. His other hand slipped behind Yuto, grabbing the other's waist possessively.

Wooseok's lips descended to Yuto in a kiss so tender and Yuto couldn't help responding. Both moving their lips gently but surely, kissing each other as if life depended on it. The kiss was starting to get a little heavy, emotions getting the best of them, both hearts felt like they weighed tons, the thought of losing each other hit them harder than usual, knowing this would be their last kiss.

Tears burned Yuto's eyes for the nth time that day and Wooseok felt how the other's lower lip trembled. The stored tears continued to flow and the sobs wracked his body, robbing it of the ability to speak – barely allowing a breath to be drawn.

Wooseok could no longer restrain himself, knowing how the idea of separation hurt them the most, not being able to see each other anymore. Tears were beginning to blur his vision as he kissed Yuto long and deep. Both of their cheeks were wet with tears but they couldn't care less.

When they finally pulled away, Wooseok rested his forehead against Yuto's, drowning into each other's eyes as they caught their breaths. Hearts beating so fast it felt like they would fly out of their chest. 

Wooseok moved a little further, pressing a final, soft kiss at the corner of Yuto's mouth before pulling him into a warm embrace. For the last time. Yuto was crying into his shoulder and that made him reluctant to pull away but he did anyway.

Standing not too far from Yuto, he glanced back for the last time. With a soft and thin smile, he waved a goodbye to Yuto.

"I love you." Wooseok whispered those three words he longed to hear it for the last time before disappearing into thin air. Leaving nothing to prove that he was once there. Just an empty space in the middle of the hospital room.

Yuto was gasping the moment he woke up from his sleep and immediately looked around, seeing no one other than himself and his hyung's small figure sleeping next to his bed. He sat up straight and slowly got out of bed as not to wake the older man from his sleep.

Yuto weakly walked to stand next to the window and stared out of his room for a moment. The clear sky outside was beautiful, reminding him of a certain someone. A smile broke on his face at the thought of it. Silently wishing for a better life for him on the other side of the world.

"I love you too." He whispered back. He couldn't say it back the last time but he knew somewhere far from here, Wooseok could still be able to hear him.

Maybe Wooseok was right, he could live with or without Wooseok by his side. Wooseok was willing to sacrifice just to save him, to give him a chance to live longer so he wouldn't waste his effort just like that. He would move on. He should start accepting what happened and shift his focus from the past to the future and be happy. But that didn't mean that he would forget about Wooseok. The said guy would always be in his mind and heart and that would never change.

And he couldn't help but wanting the same for Wooseok wherever he was.


End file.
